Reid is presenting Sex Geek Conservatory Primer: Teaching Sex Ed Without Fear, How To Make More Money as a Sex Educator: Dating Your Business Model The Art of Accepting No with Monique Darling and Reid Mihalko and Finding Your Unique Voice and Brand to Wow Your Perfect Clients (and Create Bigger Value). Check out his bio here. How do you see yourself as a catalyst for change?
For the past four years I’ve been geeking out hard on helping sex educators become better at the business of being educators and how to reach more people and make a better living doing what we love.
The way I see it, the more people’s lives we can touch, and the more peace of mind we can foster by paying our rents and bills, then our Industry as a whole becomes stronger, healthier, and happier. And happy, well-paid, self-expressed sex educators have more resources to be catalysts for the kind of change the planet needs right now!
Who or what was a catalyst for you?
Seeing how much my Mom and Dad loved each other and how “Love” wasn’t enough to keep them happy was the catalyst. Their growing pain -my mother would become an alcoholic, my father would become a workaholic, with things just getting worse and worse- and inability to heal it had me vow to never “be like them.”
My father also lost everything in his once successful business and my folks ended up living in their van with the family dog for several years, so I also “inherited” a great fear of finances and owning a business/“having a career."
Lucky for me, I had friends and mentors who helped me overcome my fears and unleash my natural curiosity and geekery about people, business and life… And I’ve been able to make a career out of it, even to the extent of helping other sex educators win at business!
It’s very inspiring to help men and women not have to go through what I saw my parents go through.
What do you feel are some of the most important/valuable changes that have been made in our current society and the field of sexuality?
Decolonizing sex education and how white people in our industry are learning why and how to help other white people be more inclusive and savvy with things like racism, classicism, abelism, ageism, sex workers rights, sexism, body shaming, etc.… These conversations and the actions/growth surrounding them are SO important!
What do you feel are some of the biggest challenges or concerns facing us in society and the field of sexuality today?
One of the biggest challenges happening right now in our industry is how sex educators are handling consent violations, consent accidents, and predatory behavior inside our own community/industry.
We are at a lack of tools for how to invite our industry to heal itself. We need to be able to hold people accountable and take personal responsibility while giving people room to have their feelings and voice/be witnessed in healthy, empowering ways.
Our industry and the sex-positive movement, like other movements that came before us, is prone to “eating it’s own” and using banishment and bridge-burning as means of bringing justice and creating safety. The unfortunate outcome of this is that we’re at a loss for protocols and role modeling on how we invite community members to step-up, grow, heal, and improve.
I don’t have the answers, but I’ve been having lots of conversations with folks who specialize in geeking out on these things. I invite all sex educators to look into the areas of Restorative and Transformative Justice, Call-In and Calling-Out Culture, as well as other areas and communities and brilliant minds, and help us find tools and concepts that can empower our industry and help all of us upgrade how we hold space and role model for each other. These tools need to include how we can leverage social media to build bridges rather than burn them.
Why is your CatalystCon presentation topic importation to you?
I look at getting better at business as a kind of self-care for sex educators. One of the most powerful ways to avoid burnout and stress is to not make the common mistakes I made “re-inventing the wheel” as I built my career.
Anything I can do to help my peers shorten their learning (and frustration) curves means there are more of us transforming the world! And THAT is important to me.
I’m teaching two pre-con workshops on business skills and public speaking bad-assery. I’m also co-leading two presentations, one on how to say and receive No powerfully as well as a 2nd talk on how to use your personal life’s story as a sex educator to reach clients and create a career that’s a great fit for you… All of these discussions help sex educators build businesses that excite them and pay the bills rather than stress them out.
Share one unknown (or little known) fact about yourself?
I used to play flute in 7th grade band, but couldn’t read music at all, so I just faked it