1. How do you see yourself as a catalyst for change?
I am a bisexual born again Christian who has experimented with swinging and kink, and I write and openly talk about my sexuality and sex practices, as well as those of others. I want (1) my words, my actions, and my openness to be a safe refuge for others like me and (2) for my words, actions, and openness to soften the hearts and minds of those who judge.
2. Who or what was a catalyst for you?
My writing has been my catalyst for change. It has taken me into worlds I would have never explored on my own and opened my heart and mind. I am forever changed by the gay man who wept with me over his love for Jesus and by the bisexual Wiccan Dominatrix who has encouraged me and emotionally and spiritually supported me for the past decade.
3. What do you feel are some of the biggest challenges or concerns facing us in society and the field of sexuality today?
I think there are numerous challenges – from our inability to talk about sex to our judgment about sex and sexuality (and particularly other’s beliefs and practices) to the way we often vote in contrast to our practices. For example, while researching Secret Sex Lives, I discovered that no matter one’s age or generation—and I’m talking old and young—their parents didn’t talk to them about sex. And as I deal with those in the sex positive community and those on the far right, I see each harshly judging the other, thus preventing any chance of communication and understanding. In fact, each tries to stifle the other, which leads back to our inability to talk about sex. Beyond that, I notice that we don’t vote in accordance with our sexual practices. For example, Texas is one of the top states for swingers and kinksters, and yet it has a dangerous voting record when it comes to anything having to do with sex.
4. Why is your CatalystCon presentation topic importation to you?
“Sharing Your Sex Life on the Page and the Stage” is important to me because it demands that I practice what I preach—to be open about sex and sexuality in order to make others more comfortable talking about it, because there’s another thing I learned while researching Secret Sex Lives: there’s an unfathomable depth of loneliness in America and much of that is attributable to lack of communication due to fear of being judged. So I’m going to talk about sex because I know for fact and from personal experience that life is so much brighter when one is honest about sex and sexuality.
5. Share one unknown (or little known) fact about yourself?
In the 1970s/80s, I wanted to be a water ski instructor at Club Med.