How do you see yourself as a catalyst for change?
I am a catalyst for change by letting anyone who has ever Googled “nonmonogamy” or “polyamory” that she is not alone, that others have done this successfully and continue to do so, and that there is a community waiting to embrace you and give you more support and advice than you ever wanted on the subject. My goal is to make sure that anyone who is comfortable sharing his polyamorous status has a means to do so–through email lists, as a podcast guest, by hosting a real-life meetup or just by coming out to friends and family.
Who or what was a catalyst for you?
My poly and kink catalyst was one person, my first poly boyfriend, Graydancer. When we met, he was engaged, and while both he and his bride-to-be identified as polyamourous, they’d never had long-term partners. My choice was to explore an opportunity to love and be loved by someone extraordinary in a nontraditional way or to pass and go on with life as usual. I did not pass. The first year of our relationship was a hot mess, and we made what I later discovered to be just about every poly newbie mistake in the book. That sparked the motivation for the Poly Weekly podcast: to reveal our own poly mistakes so that others could avoid the poly relationship land mines. And so someone who had never considered herself political or anything of an activist started on a journey to engage both the monogamous and polyamorous to share insights on all types of relationship models, sexual preferences and open communication.
What do you feel are some of the biggest challenges or concerns facing us in the field of sexuality right now?
In the field of sexuality right now, there are still some huge challenges to face. Politicians are still fighting to legislate a woman’s right to choose what she does with her body. Sex work is still illegal and viewed as shameful by the majority of the population. Gay marriage has made progress but still isn’t legal in most states. And many polyamorous folks choose to live in the closet rather than face the ignorance, prejudice or envy that revealing their lifestyle could produce.
What do you feel are some of the most important/valuable positive changes that have been made in the world of sexuality in the past year?
Why do you feel it is important to bring the topic of your session, The Online Activist: Ready, set, TWEET!, to CatalystCon East?
I’m really tired of people asking me, “Should I be on Twitter? Should my sex-positive site be on Facebook?” 🙂 I chose to bring Ready, Set, TWEET: Content Strategy for the Online Activist to CatalystCon East because I spend a good portion of my day-to-day job creating marketing strategies and most of my off-hours developing content for the podcast. In the seven years that Poly Weekly has been in production, the content strategy has developed as new social media tools became available. And these days, prioritizing presence and developing a strategy for engaging in the seemingly endless stream of social networks available can be overwhelming. Since I do this for a living, I like the idea of giving back to the community. And I define “community” as anyone seeking to be a sex-positive educator or activist.
Share one unknown (or little known) fact about yourself.
I still sleep with my teddy bear, which I have owned since I was 17.